The Comparison Trap & Why it's Holding You Back from Reaching your Goals
Ok so let’s be real for a sec, as women, we tend to compare ourselves to others. I know I am 100% guilty of this. However, does that mean its ok if everyone does it? Hell no!
I remember during my pageant days I was so guilty of this. To the point that I believe it cost me the title. I would walk in there and start looking at all the other girls competing against me and see what qualities they had (physical or mental) that made them better than me. I would actually go as far to try and copy the girl who I thought would win (who would always end up winning). When I would compete in another pageant I would want to do things just like that girl who had previously won. Even as I’m writing this, I can see so many things that are wrong with this and I wish I could tell my younger self to STOP!
Even when I first started in the fitness industry I would value my success by how I looked compared to others. I was terrified to say I was a trainer because I feared that everyone would laugh in my face. I always thought that I didn’t look like I work out and that potential clients would run the other way because I did not look the part. I had all this knowledge but I refused to take any value into it because I was only focused on my physical appearance: abs, shoulders, glutes, etc.
Honestly, it wasn’t until recently that I got over that insecurity and STOPPED comparing myself to other girls in the industry, that I finally stopped the comparison trap. I’m not perfect so I do have days where I fall back into this trap but I talk myself out of it right away. You know what ended up happening when I stopped comparing? I started putting my focus on my business, my clients and my own workout -- I succeeded! My business took on a whole new level: I had clients from everywhere interested in working with me (to the point that I had to stop taking on new clients because I always value quality over quantity), and my muscles began growing more and I slowly but surely got more comfortable in my own skin.
What I am trying to tell you ladies is that you’ve got to STOP spending so much time scrolling through your newsfeed looking at other girls and wishing you had their body or life. Instead, put that energy towards getting the body of your dreams and working hard to live the life you want. You are spending so much time putting out this negative energy into the universe that in return all you are going to get is negativity. Sometimes we have days where everything goes wrong and we think to ourselves, “so-and so would never go through this because they are perfect” well guess what…they aren’t! No one is! The fact that you’re constantly putting negative thoughts in your mind just makes everything around you turn negative (work, home, gym).
Another thing to realize is that no one is the same! So you may not have the body type of that girl you are obsessing over but it doesn’t mean that yours isn’t great, they are just different; there is nothing wrong with that. The only thing that’s wrong is when you begin to get discouraged at the gym and start half-assing your workouts until you just STOP going all together. Why? Because you’re setting unrealistic goals.l. Looking like someone else will not be possible. Not even twins have the same body types (my dad is an identical twin but he has a thicker body type while my uncle is thinner).
I know its hard ladies, but try to stop comparing yourself to others. Learn to love yourself and all your amazing qualities. Here’s an assignment:Write down 10 amazing qualities that you are proud of and keep it by your bed. Every morning read it out loud and start the day on a positive note.
You are all amazing!!!